A completely honest morning routine
I’ve been seeing a lot of morning routine posts floating around recently, and in all honesty, I love reading them. I’m a bit (a lot) of a nosy person and it’s lovely to gain a little insight into people’s lives. But if there’s one thing it does, it reminds me that I don’t have the best morning routine.
There are so many articles out there that tell us how to have the perfect morning. That we should rise from the pillows like Disney princesses, meditate, go for a run, shower, eat a healthy and balanced breakfast before perfecting our hair and make-up and zipping to work with no traffic for another day in our glittering career.
My morning looks nothing like this. So I’m going to be completely honest and lay down some truths about my terrible and probably unhealthy morning routine. Ready?
00:00am – 01:00am – Get up to pee
I am constantly tired, for a multitude of reasons, but that means I’m in bed for about 9pm / 10pm. And, I’m not really sure why, I pee a lot in the night. TMI, I know. It’s either the tablets I’m on or a weird PMS side effect but I constantly find myself creeping round the house in the dark and banging my shins on things as I try to navigate to the bathroom. Great.
5am – Wake up (ish)
From about 5am onwards, I’m either wide awake or drifting restlessly in and out of sleep. Just as I think I’m reaching the blissful land of dreams, there’s a snore, a twitch or a stupid bird outside and I’m back awake again.
7am – Alarm
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. No matter how many times I read that you should be woken up gently, I never change my alarm noise. So it jolts me awake every morning. I used to have one of those daytime lights that would slowly get brighter and brighter to replicate the sun.
It sounds good in theory, and in my head it would go a long way towards my Disney princess wake-up goals. But in reality it would wake me up half an hour before I needed to be and it’s too easy to switch off and ignore.
7:05am – Still in bed
Here’s when I’m going to admit the cardinal sin of all mornings – I’m straight onto my phone. If I’ve not been looking at it since 5am on and off, then I’m on it as soon as my alarm goes off. Yep, it’s the number one rule of all those high and mighty articles, but let’s face it, we all do it. As a digital marketer and blogger, my life and job(s) are in that device, and I like to get my catch-up out of the way while I’m still dragging my reluctant subconscious into work mode.
7:10am – Shower
Not too long after I wake up – which is probably the only redeeming factor of my morning routine – I drag myself out of the oh so warm and cosy sheets to the bathroom. Showers have only recently become part of my morning; because of needing to wash and dry my hair I tended to do it at night and let my hair air dry. But now I am a morning shower convert.
Unfortunately, the first five minutes or so is just me standing under the stream of water staring at the wall with my thoughts alternating between thinking about how tired I am, trying to solve global crises and a blank empty space.
Eventually I snap out of it and scrub down. There’s nothing better than feeling squeaky clean first thing.
7:25am – Get ready
If I’m not washing the old bird’s nest this morning, I’m usually out of the shower in about 10/15 minutes. If I’m well-prepared I’ll have chosen my work clothes the night before, but in-keeping with the spirit of honesty, this doesn’t happen very often. So it’s often a scramble about for clean undies and an outfit that will make me look half decent and professional.
From there, it’s hair. Blitz it with the GHDs to make it look neat – that’ll last about half the day before its natural flicks and kinks start to creep back in.
Brush the teeth. This is self-explanatory. You don’t really need me to tell you how to do this, do I?
Make-up. I don’t contour or prime or blend or whatever. I whack on foundation, eyebrow pencil and mascara. Good to go. Thank f*ck I’m not a beauty blogger.
8:00am – Leave (in theory)
Do I make my bed? Sometimes. I know it’s supposed to be good for organising your mind but if I’m in a rush then this is the first thing to go.
I don’t start work till 8:30am but to avoid traffic and give good impressions, I aim to be there well before others do. In reality, this doesn’t always happen and I’m usually arsing around at 8:00am looking for my keys, house keys, phone and everything else I need for the day. But I guarantee something will get left behind.
Cardinal sin #2 – I very rarely eat breakfast. Yep, bad bad girl. I don’t have much of an appetite at all in the morning, and while I would love to serve myself the perfect poached eggs on toast every morning (smothered in ketchup, of course) the truth is that I can’t be bothered.
So by the time I am firmly parked at my desk before 8:30am, my stomach is growling and I’m too stubborn to get anything till lunchtime.
I don’t drink coffee, either. No wonder I’m struggling to stay awake. I do have green tea with lemon at my desk (10 points to Gryffindor) but let’s face it, it doesn’t do the same as a jolt of caffeine.
So there you have it; Megan’s morning routine. Is it the best? Nope. Should I change it? Yep. Will I? I’ll give it a shot…
What does your morning routine look like? Let me know!