Why we’re not finding out the sex of the baby

Why we’re not finding out the sex of the baby

I was going to think of a slightly more clickbait-y title for this post. Something along the lines of ‘Want to know the sex of our baby?’ or ‘We know the gender!’ But then I remembered how much clickbait grinds my gears so I opted against it. You’re welcome.

It’s the question everyone is asking between the moment you announce you’re expecting till the moment you present your new creation to the world. “Are you going to find out what you’re having?”

Of course, deciding to find out or not is a very personal decision and this post is in no way having a go at those who do want to find out. Whatever you want to do is right for you. And don’t get me wrong, even as I approach the start of the third trimester and part of me still niggles to know – too late now, of course. But here’s why we decided not to find out.

We wanted the surprise

The biggest reason of them all. If you’ve read my first trimester diary entry, you’ll know at least the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy weren’t the nicest of my life. Constant nausea may not sound that bad in the grand scheme of things, but it was pretty debilitating at the time. As in, made me wish for actual labour, bad. So with things not kicking off in the best way, Nick and I decided together that we wanted a surprise to be waiting at the end of all the crap.

We wanted to be different

Nowadays, it’s the norm to find out. So normal in fact that people just assume you already know and I totally understand the temptation. In the weeks leading up to our 20 week scan I won’t lie that I wavered a little bit. Ok, a lot. Knowing makes certain things a little easier, but still having one little surprise at the end of 40 weeks is something I’ve really enjoyed.

We want to keep people guessing

It’s funny to get other people’s opinions on whether it’s a boy or girl growing in your tummy, and it’s surprising to see where the majority of people tend to lean. As well as just going with their gut, people go down all sorts of paths and believe all kind of ridiculous old wives’ tales when trying to figure it out. Am I carrying high or low? What does my sickness mean? Will the ring spin in circles or swing from side to side? It’s all nonsense of course, but it’s good to just sit back and watch the debate happen.

Plus, two of our closest friends – who are also a couple – are one of those who are adamant that they want to find out the sex of their baby when they’re expecting, and I rather like torturing them with not knowing.

We wanted things neutral

As a bit of a feminist – you know, just a teensy bit – I’m dead against gendered clothing. Yeah they may be cute, but I want my baby to grow up exactly how they want, with their clothes having no sway on who they are and what they can do. By all means, if I have a girl and they choose to wear dresses then so be it, but I’m not going to force a girl into solely pink clothing because other people tell me to.

Of course, you can’t always account for other people, and family members are bound to buy gendered clothing as soon as Squeaky B pops out, but not knowing the sex now gives us a head start in buying neutral clothing. Which are still gorgeous, by the way.

What do you think? How many of you found out? Why/why not?

4 thoughts on “Why we’re not finding out the sex of the baby”

  • I have always wondered what I’ll do when I’m expecting, I think it could be quite a tough decision. The idea of a surprise waiting at the end makes it seem like its an extra motivation to get through all the unpleasant parts of pregnancy to me. I can understand all your reasons! Either way, I hope you have a strong healthy baby angel.x

    • I’m not going to lie, it’s been a tricky one! But I’m glad we stuck to our guns and didn’t find out. I will admit that it makes shopping a lot harder, though!

  • I didn’t want to know the sex of our baby at the beginning but by the end I was getting really curious. I held out though and got my surprise, it is a lovely way to end a pregnancy :o)


    • I feel exactly the same! Now it’s getting closer to the end and it’s dragging I’m starting to want to know! But I have no choice but to hold out now 🙂 x

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